Dear sandy,

As I love the Island, and since I can't move there full time, yet, and since I am a real live native Texan who has known SPI since the late 60's. And, since I read all about the SOB's,,, HOW oh How do I become a SOB?? People in Fort Worth Love SPI as much as you do and NEVER EVER leave trash on the beach. Please rush your reply as I am having withdrawal bad! I NEED the sand and sun and surf and a cold one from Boomerangs or Irish Pub!!!

Ben in Texas

Quick! Before the men in white hot air balloons descend upon you and take you away! Raise your right hand and repeat after me:

I promise to have fun!

Help others have fun!

and unlitter!

(Unlitter means to properly dispose of more garbage than you generate.)

There, you are now an official SoB. No salesman will call, no visions will occur but you are now entitled -- nay, strongly encouraged -- to swear in new SoBs any where (yes, even in Fort Worth), any time the situation warrants it.

And now I promise to go have a cold one - in your name - at Boomie's. Thank you so much for implanting that suggestion in my head.

Dear Ms. feet,

Love the Friday night fireworks exhibitions but wonder why they all have to be choreographed to patriotic music. The Fourth of July is one thing.... but is it really necessary to trot out the military bands every Friday night?

-Pacifist Pete

Of all the lowdown, ungrateful....! The town and bayfront businesses spend jillions of dollars to entertain you and all you can do is complain that they don't share your taste in music!!! We know your type, buster -- why, you would probably complain if you were hung with anything less than a brand new rope!

OBVIOUSLY they choose stirring and dramatic music because fireworks are---well, stirring and dramatic! Sure, everyone around here loves Margaritaville and Brown-Eyed Girl , but these are not songs one would normally associate with fireworks.

(On the other hand, a little Led Zep, maybe some Pink Floyd -- slipped in between the Battle Hymn of the Republic and The Star Spangled Banner could quite possibly improve the weekly shows.... but no one's bothered to ask for MY opinion.)

Not that it will make one iota of difference in the overall scheme of things, but I am curious which artists/songs you would like to see accompany the fireworks. Submit your suggestions to the the usual addresses (see below) and I'll compile them for a future column.

The Case of the Missing Stratocaster

If your husband gave you a classic creamy-yellow electric guitar for Christmas, you would probably do just what our good friend Lori Brass did - christen it "Lemon Meringue" and break it out any time a wandering musician/friend stopped by so they could oooh and ahhh and fondle its strings a little. And if one of those friends borrowed the stratocaster and forgot to mention it to you, you would probably be really bummed and think it had been stolen or something. And if that friend returned it - say left it on the doorstep late one night - you would be so happy to have your beloved Lemon Meringue back you wouldn't ask any questions or press any charges.



It's fishing tournament time again and the wise angler will use every resource at his/her disposal to get the edge on the competition. So kick the kids off the family p.c. (they're just playing games anyway) and follow my tracks to some of the best fishing links on the web -- Tag and Release, Dude!

South Padre: A Right, Tight little Fishing Island

"Do consider local pests like fire ants and gaff-topsail catfish. On my first visit to this area I sat on a nest of the latter while trying to tweeze a fin from the former from my hand. If I'd fallen into the shallows onto a sting ray, I'd have completed a "Texas Tourist Triple."

The PI/SPI Fishing Page is the single best resource for those fishing for local info on the web. There you will find links to recent fishing reports, phone numbers for local guides, the official TIFT page, the Texas Parks and Wildlife Page (includes info on regulations, artificial reef locations and Texas fish) and current weather data, wave heights and the Coastal Waters Weather Forecast.

"A sports fishing tournament...whenever and wherever you want it! Anytime, any place, any weather!"

You say you don't have a boat, a rod and reel -- or even a buddy with access to any of the above? Not to worry. You may still vicariously experience the thrill of tournament fishing by purchasing Fishing Frenzy: the Tournament Sport Fishing Game! -- for considerably less dinero than, say... a used Shallow Sport.

Want to have your website featured here? E-mail me your URL... and happy surfing!

There are five (5) ways to submit your questions/comments for future Ask Sandy columns: In person; by phone (761-6222) or fax (761-8930); the US Postal System (box 2694,spi,78597) and E-mail: ( Visit the SOB Sandcastle Page ( for tips on sandcastling, contest info, recent Ask Sandy columns, and my reviews of local businesses.

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