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Dear sandy,

Subject: No neckties?

It seems that I heard SPI passed a local ordinance several years ago banning this archaic form of fashion. I hate the damned things myself and am wanting to approach the city council in our small hamlet to get them to pass the same ordinance. Can you give me some more information on how this is working for SPI?

Phil (via the internet)

Hi Phil,

It is true that a few years back the town passed an ordinance banning ties on South Padre -- but I am sad to report the law does not seem to have much teeth, and I don't think it is being enforced. I don't want to be a snitch or anything so I won't name names but I recently saw a very high-ranking city official - (I will tell you that his last name starts with "C", ends with "Z" and he often goes by the alias "Mayor Ed") - slinking around the post office wearing a tie. Mind you, there may have been extenuating circumstances (like maybe he was on his way to or from court or something) but if our own city officials cannot abide by the law, how can we expect anyone else to pay attention to it?
And while I am on the subject - correct me if I am wrong - but didn't the city also pass an ordinance against socks? I tried to inform my visiting nephew of this - he is from Michigan and never appears anywhere sockless - and he just laughed at me. One can't help but wonder where this disrespect for the law can lead, particularly in one so young...

At any rate, I think the no-tie law is a good one and maybe if more city governments would pass similar laws we could really make inroads in changing the standards of male attire. In the meantime, I have taken an informal poll among some local folks on other pieces of clothing that should be banned and, to no one's great surprise, the results were divided very evenly down gender lines. Among males there was near 100% agreement that bathing suit tops should be banned, followed closely by brassieres (excluding the pushup type.) Among women, the general consensus was that too many men around here don't wear enough clothes as it is -- but if we are going to ban something, how about those truly tasteless t-shirts we have seen all too many of in recent years?

Dear Ms. feet,

We just returned from a fabulous vacation on SPI, I even got to see Amazin' Walter making balloons at Blackbeards. We went on a Dolphin watching tour and on this tour we saw what looked like a large section of bridge or a very long pier. Everyone looked to me for answers as to what it was. I could not answer them, but I did tell them I knew someone who did know and would ask them. Is this the first attempt at a bridge and it ran into difficulties or something?

"DC" (via the internet)

Ah yes - you are taking about the scenic "Lemming Walk," where every year right after Labor Day weekend all remaining tourists in the area play "follow the leader" into the salty waters of the Laguna Madre --
No, that's not what its for. Actually, its an integral part of the SPI/PI back up hurricane evacuation plan. If/when the Queen Isabella Causeway goes out, we will all line up on our respective ends of the piers and climb onto the specially-designed escape pods that will whisk us to safety --

Not falling for that one either? Okay - here's the REAL story. What you and your friends saw was the remains of the first bridge to connect the island to the mainland, built back in the 50's I believe, and replaced by the new causeway about 30 years ago. A few years back the section on the island side was condemned as unsafe and replaced by the spiffy new commercial fishing pier now located there.

But I think the "Lemming Walk" theory makes for a better story... don't you?

There are five (5) ways to submit your questions/comments for future Ask Sandy columns: In person; by phone (761-6222) or fax (761-8930); the US Postal System (box 2694,spi,78597) and E-mail: (sandyfeet@unlitter.com). Visit my web-site (http://spionline.com/) for tips on sandcastling, contest info, recent Ask Sandy columns, and my reviews of local businesses.

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