'Twas the month before Christmas, and throughout the midwest
Retirees were stirring with seasonal unrest.
And ma with her cellphone, and pa with his Mac,
Had just gassed up for the long drive back --
South to the island, just over the bridge
Where the only thing cold is the stuff in the fridge...
Where property owners were fixing up beds --
Visions of occupants dancing in their heads
And owners of clubs were restocking the beer
In hopes that spring break soon would be here...
When out from the boulevard there came a great shout
So I strolled on down Saturn to go check it out.
And there before my wondering eyes was arrayed,
The greatly anticipated lighted Christmas parade!
The lights they were twinkling and candy did fly,
But I recognized Santa in the wink of an eye.
From his perch on the float he saw all who came
So he waved and whistled and called them by name:
"Hey Walter and Laurie, yo Karen and Kelly!
And there's Josh and Amy - I love Psychadeli!
There's Christy the Clown, she's handing out treats,
Welcome back Rovans, and Mom & Dad Feets!
And who's over yonder sipping hot cappucino,,
But Dolores and Doyle, aka Mr. Ferrentino!
Greetings, Mayor Bob and Mary K Pollard,
Hey Tish and Sebastion - what's up Jim Gollard?
There's Stuart and Cindy; they're raising their cups
To Liz & Diann and their two brand new pups!
And who do I see, spiking the eggnog?
Why it's Balde and Renetta and a stray Bongodog!
Seasons greetings to Caesars' chef...
Jake's Jake and Schlitterbahn's Jeff!
A special Ho-Ho-Ho to our friends at Club Padre
And the Humane Society of the Laguna Madre.
And while on the subject, let's raise a drink
To the folks and the turtles at Sea Turtle Inc!"
Still more he exclaimed as he rode down the street
As each of South Padre's inhabitants he did greet...
But before he was gone, I could hear him beseech,
"Merry Christmas to all - please unlitter the beach!"
See last year's feeble attempt...